Missed Fists Best of 2023: David beats down Goliath, a post-fight vomiting, MMA Michael Jackson, and a tumbling cutwoman highlight bizarre year

It’s time for the fifth-annual Fistys, the awards present that palms out hypothetical {hardware} to the very best fight sports activities highlights of the yr from the worldwide and regional scene. A lot has been stated about how 2023 was the strangest 12-month stretch that fight fans have ever seen on the greater ranges of the enterprise, which makes what occurred on the fringes appear virtually tame by comparability.

Nonetheless, the outer limits of the preventing world by no means fail to ship, and there have been loads of memorable scenes which may have escaped the attention of the typical viewer. So contemplate this put up to be one huge ICYMI for anybody that should catch up earlier than the calendar turns to 2024.

With out additional ado, it’s Fisty time!

(Don’t overlook to tip your cap to MMA Twitter overlords @Barrelelapierna for his or her weekly lists of the very best KOs and submissions, and to the inimitable @Grabaka_Hitman, our biggest residing MMA historian, plus everybody else on social media who scrutinizes the fight sports activities panorama with a fine-tooth comb. Give everybody a observe and chip in on caposa’s Patreon in the event you can.)

Greatest Visible Results

Raymison Bruno vs. Roger Dalet

Actually billed as “David vs. Goliath,” 130-pound fighter Raymison Bruno went up in opposition to heavyweight Roger Dalet to show as soon as and for all that measurement doesn’t matter. I don’t recall the E book of Samuel saying something about Superman punches, blast doubles, or armbars, however I suppose tales are supposed to evolve over time.

Our untrained Goliath was simply felled by Bruno in a matchup that, whereas farcical, actually helped to bolster the traditional notion that regardless of how huge you might be, you’re not going to final two minutes in an actual battle in the event you don’t know your full guard out of your Proper Guard. I’m looking at you, Bradley Martyn.

Greatest Vomiting

Praewpraw vs. Dokmaipa

I’m not one to encourage an individual to by chance see one thing they by no means needed to see, so if the title of this Fisty class didn’t immediate you to skip to the following part, right here’s a extra formal warning: The clip under options somebody puking.

Right here we go.

Contemplating what fighters put one another’s our bodies by way of, it’s actually sort of superb that we don’t see disgusting incidents like this extra typically. Not that I’m requesting it. In reality, if we may go twelve months with out an in-ring chunk-blowing, that will simply be nice. Thanks.

Greatest Base For MMA

Akamz as ‘Michael Justice’

Comic Akamz has gotten loads of mileage out of his thinly veiled Michael Jackson riff “Michael Justice,” adapting the King of Pop’s signature strikes to a wide range of sports activities and actions, so it was solely a matter of time till he introduced his act to MMA and the outcomes had been spectacular.

Roll your eyes all you need, however the bit takes critical ability and dedication. And albeit, if mimicking M.J. is sweet sufficient for the good Anderson Silva, then I can rock with Akamz.

Greatest KO (unintentional)

Billy Model and Carol the Cutwoman

In keeping with Sherdog, bantamweight Billy Model went 3-0 in 2023, however you may tack one other W on there for this hilarious post-fight collision with “Carol the Cutwoman” a.okay.a. Carol Siracusa.

Model was clearly jazzed up after scoring a third-round end and you’ll see that he’s fully unaware of his environment as he barrels into Siracusa. She seemed to be high quality from the autumn, so I believe it’s truthful for to have a chuckle over Model’s gaffe.

Greatest KO

Patryk Glowacki vs. Patryk Tolkaczewski

Common readers of Missed Fists is aware of that worldwide and regional promotions at all times present a nutritious diet of one-shot knockouts, blindingly quick finishes, plus knees and head kicks galore, and any a type of sorts of finishes would have made for a high quality option to win the KO Fisty. However sticking with the theme of weirdness, how may we decide anything apart from Krzysztof Glowacki’s livid punch-out from mount.

From the backside of mount, that’s.

There’s ranges to this s***, as the youngsters say, and Glowacki vs. Patryk Tolkaczewski isn’t precisely a conflict of heavyweight titans (each had been making their professional MMA debut). So it’s comprehensible that this end may not high a traditional record of the best KOs of the year.

Round these elements although, we reward ingenuity, creativity, and sure, silliness, to not point out sheer brutality. Glowacki’s once-in-a-lifetime KO checks all of these bins and deserves to be acknowledged. It’s no secret that KSW guidelines and wacky wins like this are one of many explanation why.

Better of the remainder

Manolis Kallistis vs. Juan Gonzalez

Yuito Yanagawa vs. Kazuki Morii

Jessika Silva vs. Jocilene Santana

Reynaldo Acevedo vs. Andre Bermudez

Devin Smyth vs. Jonathan Piersma

Xavier Horton vs. Richard Guererro

Milosz Wodecki vs. Mikolaj Homa

Xiko Loko vs. Iury Silva

Ivan Kulak vs. Bogdan Plutakhin

Shuya Kimura vs. Shota Taguchi

Greatest Submission

Aktore Batyrbek def. Shakhzod Dzhurakulov

Regardless of my finest makes an attempt to coach the philistines that make up the MMA Combating workers, I didn’t persuade them to incorporate one of many extra distinctive finishes from the Missed Fists library on our Submission of the Yr record (Louis Glismann vs. Melvin Van Suijdam made it, fortunately).

Regardless of, Aktore Batyrbek’s spectacular mixture sub of Shakhzod Dzhurakulov will get its shine right here, if nowhere else.

The Kazakh flyweight had an exemplary 2023 marketing campaign, going 3-0 with three finishes. The competitors he’s going through over in Octagon League leaves one thing to be desired, but when we maintain getting highlights like this, I encourage the matchmakers to maintain bringing out no matter poor saps they’ll discover for Batyrbek to type on.

Better of the remainder

Taylor Mauldin vs. Laura Gallardo

Azat Maksum vs. Fabricio Nunes

Pablo Eduardo vs. Azizbek Norov

Olga Rubin vs. Claire Guthrie

That’s it for this yr, people, thanks as at all times for checking in on our typically uncared for nook of the MMA world. I needed to miss a bushel of unbelievable finishes or we’d be occurring for an additional 3,000 phrases, so in order for you the entire image, be certain that to return by way of the Missed Fists archives.

And don’t fear, I didn’t overlook probably the most devastating strike of the yr.

Boink.

Deal with yourselves in 2024!